Exceptional Dental Practice Management

Understanding the "Cost of Gratitude"

"It isn't about me or you and how we feel. It is about recognizing that other people give us the life we live. Without them, we are nothing. There are no self-made men or women. Those who try to be, who think they are are the small people, confined into the narrow world of their own perception."

                        ~Ed Brenegar, author of the Leading Questions weblog

My friend and fellow blogger, Ed Brenegar wrote this on his Thanksgiving day blog for his Leading Questions weblog.  The whole post is really good so I encourage you to read it, but this one paragraph really hit home for me.  So often we spend countless hours and enormous energy thinking about how we feel.  We blow things well out of proportion to the actual event and inflict further pain on ourselves in the re-thinking. 

Feeling is subjective  and is only really true for us to the limit that we are able to truly be honest with ourselves at the time.  Have you ever noticed that the impact of an event seems to grow in intensity as we relive the event over and over in the telling and re-telling.  Then, all of a sudden, it dissipates and a week later you may be hard pressed to remember what you were so miserable about to begin with. 

Other people, and our reaction to them really do give us the life we live.  If we receive others with trust, understanding and acceptance, chances are we'll get that from them, along with gratitude, respect and support.  If we meet others with sketicism, disdain and resentment, they won't waste their best on us.

There are  times I notice that someone who seems to have little feeling or concern for other, appears to have it all.  They may be in a position of power, may have wealth and possessions; the easy life. It may seem unfair and you wonder why they are so lucky.  But, do they really have what counts?  The things that live in the heart and soul and can never be taken away?  To experience the love, respect and gratitude of others throughout life is the real reward and the true wealth.  To know that you've made a positive difference in someone's life, contributed some amount of good to the world and lived in peace with others is not vulnerable to the winds of fate or the uncertainty of economy.  Once you have it, it's yours, long after the events or even people have passed from your daily life.  

Love and gratitude are the true reward and the most pleasurable reality.  Work every day to make love and gratitude a part of your life.  Understand that your relationships are dependant on both if they are to be good, supportive and long-lasting.  Realize that you're not in this life alone and reach out to lend a hand whenever you can, and to take a hand when you need one.  Do others the honor of allowing them to be of help to you, too.

Oh Yeah, Thanks

If you're like me,  you're busy and find yourself thinking, "Oh, I forgot to thank them for that."  Maybe some courtesies become so commonplace that you feel that "Thanks" is assumed.  For instance, my boss and I go to lunch on Mondays for a business meeting and he picks up the tab.  We get so involved in our conversations and then rushing to get back to work that I realize I don't thank him for lunch every Monday.  I should.  He makes the decision to continue these lunches every week, I should thank him. 

Do you thank your staff for all they do?  Sure, it's their job, but some people do that little bit more that makes working with them a pleasure.  Thank them to encourage them and let them know you notice their extra effort.

Do you thank your boss for a great day?  Bosses need, and deserve thanks, too.  Too often we take those in leadership positions for granted, thinking that somehow they don't need appreciation.  They're human, they love feeling appreciated as much as anyone else does.

Do you say it like you mean it?  Throwing a thanks out there doesn't check another task off your list.  Thanks has power and impact.  We once had a young assistant whose thanks made an impact.  Her thanks came from deep inside of her, whether it was for a gift, a favor, a compliment, etc.  She meant it and you felt it.  It wasn't just a rote response.  It made you want to do something else nice for her, just so you could hear her thanks again.

On this day of Thanksgiving, I'd like to say I'm thankful first and foremost for my family, who I love more than anything.  Thanks Mark, for almost 30 years of marriage and sharing the trials, tribulations and joys of raising 3 children, numerous dogs, a few cats, one rather obnoxious hamster and a spattering of fish. Thanks to those 3 kids for the pleasure, love, and panic only children can bring.  The panic keeps you on your toes.  The love gets you through the panic.  The four of you are everything.  Thanks to friends for support, laughter, silliness and love.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me in my efforts to find outlets for my constant stream of thoughts and ideas through encouraging me to blog, write or speak, even though I might have been terrified of the latter.  Conquering fears is an amazing achievement.  Thanks to my boss, Nigel Morgan for being delightful and inspiring.  You are the grand prize of my professional career and you make coming to work everyday like opening a present. 

Thank you to all those serving our country.  Without you we wouldn't have as much to be thankful for, the freedom to express it or the abundance of joys to be able to take any of it for granted.  Thank you for your sacrifice of time with your family, time to pursue your interests and the willingness to risk your very life so that we can have our freedom.

Oh yeah, thanks for reading my blog.  Every now and then I think I've said just about all I can say on this subject, but then someone sends me an e-mail that says that something I wrote helped them and I know I want to keep going. 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and remember to look for all the good things in your life. 

The Gratitude Campaign

I was talking to my friend Diane the other evening and my heart hurts for her. Her 20 year old son, Gavin, has just been deployed. She's not sure if he'll end up in Iraq or Afghanistan. She's holding it together like she always does, and she's had plenty of practice. She's had many challenges in her life, but in the last few years she's really had to be strong. When I think of the many times I see a military person in the airport or anywhere and I've wanted to say, "Thank you for sacrificing your time and your safety to help keep the rest of us safe." and I didn't, I wonder why. It's awkward, I guess. You don't know how they'll react, maybe. Well, after watching the following video from YouTube, I think I'll be doing something. I may not use the gesture they are showing, but I will find the nerve to speak up. In the meantime, thank you Gavin for risking it all, and thank you Don and Diane for raising that brave young man.

Say, Thanks

   

My friend Ed Brenegar is a contestant in Daniel Pink's contest to name a 7th rule in the Great Johnny Bunko Challenge.  His suggestion is "Say, Thanks Everyday."  You can read his post about saying thanks here, and while you're at it, you might as well click on his link and vote for his suggestion.  Ed is the person who suggested I start my blog, so I'm always thankful to him for that suggestion.  This blog keeps me out of a lot of trouble.  Well, actually I still get into plenty of trouble, but now I've got somewhere to write about it.
    At any rate, have you noticed how easy it is to forget to say thank you?  And how about when people thank us?  Do we take it in, or do we just brush it off.  Are we in such a hurry that we don't even realize we've just received something wonderful?  Thanking acknowledges goodness, goodwill, kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, etc., the list goes on and on, and it's all positive.  Thanking encourages the repetition of all of those good things.  Have you ever waited to hold a door open for someone you don't know only to have them pass right through without acknowledging your existence, let alone your good deed?  Did you ever find yourself thinking that's the last time you'll do that?  That's the danger in not thanking.  It discourages civility.
    If you really think about it, most of us have so much to be thankful for, if we could just shift our focus from what's wrong to what's right.  Why are we so much faster to acknowledge the lack than we are to notice the gifts in our lives.  Tonight at dinner my husband said Grace and recounted all the things we have to be grateful for.  He said he was thankful that I have such a great boss.  He's grateful because having a nice boss means that I come home happy.  His gratitude is part of the ripple effect that goodness causes.  He's grateful because he knows that negativity has the same ripple and he's been touched by that before, too.  His gratitude increases mine, because working with my boss is not only a pleasure for me, it makes life more pleasant for those I love, as well.  Everyone who passes through our lives and gives us reason to smile, is a reason to be thankful. 
    Pay attention for a week and see if you don't realize that you have so many people to thank that you never realized or recognized before.  Thank them and you'll become one of their reasons to be grateful.  A little thanks really does go a long way, so just do it.  Say, Thanks, Everyday.
   

Keep A Good Thing Going

    I think it's human nature to notice problems.  Have you ever noticed that when you have to give an employee a review that both you and the employee worry more about the criticism, than anticipate the praise?  Think about the performance of your staff during  the day.  It seems like we are always noticing what's wrong and spending a lot of time figuring out how to fix it. 
    Is there really that much more wrong than right?  If there was, would you still be in practice?  I wonder what we'd find if we spent some time looking for what's right?  What if we walked through our offices complimenting staff and praising their efforts?  I bet we'd all feel better and so would they.  Shoulders might just slide down from hunched positions, spirits would rise and the atmosphere would lighten. 
    We can drive employees into despair with constant demands and criticisms.  Unfortunately, we tend to take good performance for granted.  We even tend to need more and better performance to remain satisfied with a high performer.  We can forget that our employees have lives outside the office and demand more of them than we have a right to expect. 
    Hard workers thrive on appreciation.  They are the ones who don't need promises of bonuses to perform and deliver their best.  We tend to get so accustomed to their great performance that we take it for granted.  It's disheartening for someone like this to be treated indifferently. 
    Take a look around at your staff today.  Think about what each of them bring to the practice.  Let them know you noticed.It's the best way to make a good thing better and to keep it going. 

Every Day Is A Pleasure

    We're just about 3 months into our practice transition and I can tell you one thing.  Every day has been a pleasure.  I'm probably working harder than ever right now, but I'm loving every minute of it.  My new boss, Nigel Morgan, DDS is a dream to work for.  He's fun,energetic and he genuinely likes people. 
    There was a consultant on DentalTown yesterday saying that most of the time, staff doesn't survive a practice transition.  She said it's best to fire the old staff and start over.  Another poster heartily agreed and said that it's best to get them out as soon as possible.  Obviously, they haven't had the kind of transition experience we've had.  We are having a great time and enjoying getting to know our new boss.  We support him and want him to do well.
    This is a 50/50 proposition.  Dr. Morgan treats us well, he's almost always in a good mood, and he's fun.  He doesn't take himself too seriously or act like he's superior to us.  He's just happy to be there and "he loves his job."  Being around someone like this changes things.  Patients that used to drive us nuts are now just people with quirks.  Working hard is still tiring, but there are laughs and compliments to lighten the mood. 
    I think we're a lucky group.  We have a good thing going and we know it and appreciate it.  We all want to keep it going so how can we fail?  Our glass is more than half full, it's overflowing. It all comes down to the way our new boss looks at life.  He focuses on the positive and brushes away the petty and inconsequential.  It's so easy to choose the other reaction and dwell on problems, but it's so easy to break that habit and pave the way for happiness.
    Can you do this in your practice?  Sure you can, you can start today.  If there is someone who will block this, let them know that today is a new day.  There's a new way of looking at things and if they'll just give it a try, they'll see that every day can be a pleasure for your practice, too.

Memorial Day 2008

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." ~Jimi Hendrix~

Couldn't Have Done It Without You

    Who doesn't like to hear that?  There is nothing like gratitude to keep a good thing going.  When a dentist says something like that to a manager, it becomes the wind beneath her wings.  On days when things seem frustrating or just plain aggravating, remembering those words is not only uplifting, it is a bar to rise to.  Knowing that someone feels that way about what you do makes you determined not to disappoint them.
    If you really think about it, no matter how things are at work, they couldn't be exactly that way without the people involved.  So, good or bad, I couldn't have done it without you, is a reality.   I've worked with all kinds of people in my 18 years in dentistry.  Some were wonderful, some not so much.  Some were endearing, some were infuriating.  Some worked hard, some as little as possible.  They all made their mark. 
    The worst group I worked with were insulated, selfish, and catty.  Their main concern was for themselves, they talked behind backs and they didn't care that they caused misery and division among their co-workers.  They almost drove the practice we worked in into the ground.  When anyone tried to make things better, they became threatening and abusive.  We couldn't have been as miserable or unproductive without them.  On the other hand, I also couldn't have learned what an office manager needed to be if I hadn't worked with them. 
    The best group I ever worked with is the group I work with now.  They care and the patients know that.  They get along with each other, so the culture of the practice is healthy.  We couldn't be the way we are without them.  Could it be better?  Sure, there's room for improvement, there always is.  When you decide that you're good enough and stop trying to get better, you start losing your edge.  Even if someone leaves or someone new is added we will become what we will be because of who is with us.  Since that means we could get better or we could get worse, it is important to pay constant attention to the mindset and attitudes of the staff.  It's the kind of thing that requires careful and timely redirection to keep us getting better and better. 
    Are you getting the idea that being exceptional takes work?  It's not just luck, it doesn't just happen.  You can't get lazy and ignore a slip in attitude or stop paying attention because things are going well.  It's a work in progress and as a manager, it's something that couldn't be the way it is without you.  So, make sure that what it is, is good.

A Spirit Of Gratitude

    Why is it so hard for some employers to show appreciation for their staff?  Studies have shown that appreciation is at the top of list of what employees need to feel happy and satisfied in their jobs.  If your staff members look amazed when you give them a compliment, it means you don't do it often enough.  People crave feedback.  Most people want to know how they're doing, good or bad.  It's selfish not to do that. 
    Why would an employer be stingy about something that is free and readily available?  Especially when it can keep their employees motivated and dedicated to them.  I think that some people feel that they lose something themselves when they appreciate others.  What they don't realize is that they lose when they don't let their employees feel like they are seen as people who make a difference in the practice.  I've read that employees are more likely to steal in an environment like this because they feel that something is owed to them.  They also don't have the same feeling of gratitude toward an employee who treats them like they're invisible.
    Office managers are often taken for granted the most.  The dentist and clinical staff get lots of appreciation from the patients.  The receptionist will be thanked for getting patients in quickly when they're in pain.  The office manager gives the staff appreciation and feedback, but often gets none of that herself.  With all the responsibility she bears, she needs to hear something good now and then to keep her going. 
    If nothing else, giving employees positive feedback will benefit the employer.  It increases production and retention.  Not having to constantly replace employees saves employers money and time.  Happy employees don't watch the clock and take unnecessary time off.  The heartbeat of the practice is healthier, the atmosphere in the office is pleasant and the patients feel that.  Put a smile on the faces of your staff and before you know it, you'll be smiling too.

Before It's Too Late

    Look around you, before it's too late.  Do you have a team member who gives it her all every day, year in and year out?  Does your boss treat you well only to have you looking for more?  Look inside yourself, before it's too late.  Do you see the best in people or do you find fault with everyone?  Search your heart.  Could you change the way you think and make things better, before it's too late?
    First, let's talk about that assistant that goes way beyond what's expected because she loves what she does, and she wants to do everything she can to make your practice a success.  Maybe you were really wowed by her when she first started working with you.  After a while, you may have just forgotten what it was like before she came on the scene.  Guess what, your expression of satisfaction or pleasure in her work is what keeps her going.  She needs to know she makes a difference.  She tries so hard to approach excellence, it lifts her spirits to hear you say she's your right hand. 
    How about the boss who takes the time to thank you for what you do?  He tells you that you're a great asset and notices your achievements.  Do you ever remember to compliment his work or thank him for providing a great working environment?  He's a person too.  He wants to know he's doing a great job and that the people he works with are proud of him.  Can he ever satisfy you?  Do you turn your nose up at the things he does for you and wish you had what the assistant down the street gets from her boss?  Do you realize that many times the kind word or the considerate gesture are priceless, and that many times the dentist who pays a lot more has to because he's got a miserable temper?  If he didn't pay an outrageous salary, nobody would work for him.
    Maybe you have the ability to find fault with everyone around you.  Your co-workers are lazy.  They don't care as much as you do, but your boss is so lame, he doesn't seem to notice.  Here you are, working yourself to death and he treats them just as nice as he treats you.  And those patients.  They're horrible.  They do nothing but complain, they're babies and they drive you nuts.  Why can't everyone be more like you?  Wouldn't that be great?
    Before it's too late, look at look inside your heart.  Do you see yourself in any of the above descriptions?  Did you feel a little uncomfortable reading any of it?  Don't worry.  You can change it.  Sit down right now and write a note telling your staff member how much she means to your practice.  She'll treasure that memo and pull it out to read on days when your temper was short.  Tell your boss what a pleasure it is to work with him.  Offer to help a co-worker with a task you know she dislikes and see how that affects your day with her.  Keep doing it and you'll have a real friend.  Think about those patients and try to imagine what might be driving their behavior.  Fuss over them and show them you care.  You be surprised in how good you'll feel on your way home tonight.  Change your mind and watch your heart change with it, before it's too late. Just as the pain you cause becomes your pain too, the joy that you spread washes over you as well.  I hope you'll do this before it's too late.  Otherwise, you might realize that you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

The Best Gift

    The holidays are here again and I'm going to give you a gift suggestion.  It's something that's sure to be appreciated and it will cost you nothing...but time.  It is the gift of appreciation.
    If you ask people what they really want, what would really make them feel good at work, they will probably tell you that they want to feel appreciated.  They want to know that they are needed and wanted.  They want to be liked for who they are, not just what they can do or how much money they can bring in.
    I believe that a part of the reason that employees keep looking for more perks, bonuses and salary increases is because they are trying to fill a void.  They are looking for proof that they matter.  Giving the gift of gratitude is also a gift you give yourself.  When you let people know what you appreciate about them, you get more of it.
    Ok, I've given you some time to get your thoughts together, go out and buy some nice stationary, and put your sentiments down on paper.  Don't just jot down some generic compliment.  Dig deep down, really think about what's important and what makes the other person special.  If you do a good job, it will be something that they take out and read when you disappoint or upset them.  It will remind them that you really care and that you're worth another chance.  There are not too many gifts that give as much joy as a letter telling you how much you're valued and appreciated.
    We are all making our way through life the best we can.  No one gets up in the morning planning to make mistakes and everyone wants to be held in high esteem.  For some reason it's not easy to express our heartfelt thoughts to others.  We assume that they know how we feel.  We complain much easier than we compliment.  Get in the habit of giving the gift of gratitude. 
    By the way, this is a gift that anyone can give.  You don't have to be the boss to express appreciation.  Staff members can tell their boss why they are special to them.  Tell each other, jot down a little note for the lab delivery guy, your sales rep, the lady who cleans the office.  Tell your patients that you love seeing their name on the schedule.  Make someone's  day.  Give the best gift there  is,  to them and yourself.

The Gift Of Gratitude

    A couple of friends and I were talking about Christmas gift ideas for our bosses.  One of them said she thought it would be a nice idea for each staff member to write out a reason she is grateful for him and leave one on his chair each day before Christmas.  What a nice idea!  Wouldn't it be wonderful to come to work and begin each day by reading something nice about yourself?
    You could take this great idea a few steps further.  First, turn these into ornaments.  Just either find some Christmas shaped gift tags or make your own, it's easy.  Then instead of just giving them to the boss, give a supply to each staff member and ask them to write something about each team member as well on them.  Buy a small, table top tree for your waiting room and let them decorate it with their gratitude ornaments.  The patients will enjoy seeing how much the staff enjoys and appreciates each other.
    Now, for one more step, give your staff enough to write something about each day's patient and hang them up, too.  At the end of their appointment, the patient can remove their ornament and take it home with them.  All right, I have to go now.  I need to get started on my ornaments.

Happy Thanksgiving!

    I mentioned the other day that my brother is facing cancer for the third time.  Hearing that made me start a mental list of all the terrible losses I've dealt with in the past ten years.  Thinking about that started making me feel kind of resentful and sad.  Then I realized that I could turn that around by counting my blessings.  So, here goes:
    First and foremost, I am blessed with fantastic kids and a wonderful husband, who I first met when I was 10 years old.  I'm grateful for the memory of him in his crossing guard belt.  It's something to hang over his head when he makes fun of me for all the trouble I used to get into in school.  We had a good boy, bad girl kind of thing going on. Makes it more interesting.   I'm grateful for my friends, they make me laugh and they're always there for me.  Most of them are kind of kooky which is what drew me to them in the first place.  I'm grateful for my boss, who lets me constantly develop my skills and increase my knowledge.  I'm thankful for my co-workers.  They are a kind and caring group of steel magnolias.  They all have their own problems and concerns, but all come to work every day and leave them at the door so that they can give our patients the treatment they deserve.
    I'm grateful to have had parents who shaped me and disciplined me so that I could have a character that I am comfortable with.  I'm happy for the wonderful memories I have of them and my other relatives.  I'm glad that I paid attention when my mother was making Thanksgiving dinner so that I can make it the same way for my family.  I'm grateful that my daughter is moving back to our town so that I can spend more time with her. 
    I just realized that I could go on and on.  Once you start counting your blessings, you realize that every little thing counts.  Yes, we have our sorrows, but you had to have a blessing at one time to have something to be sorrowful about.  Not all our blessings are meant to last forever.  That is why it's so important to be fully present and to recognize how good you have it.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Getting To The Top

    I keep hearing this phrase lately: "No one comes to work intending to do a bad job."  It seems that whenever I'm faced with a dilemma, a quote comes along to guide me.  Maybe I just notice them more because I love to read quotes, who knows? 
    My dilemma lately has been an employee whose been with us a few months, but doesn't seem to be progressing, and is even losing ground that had been gained at times.  It's frustrating to have to keep going back over things that have been taught.  Sometimes I get to the point of throwing it in and giving up on her.  Doesn't that sound terrible...to give up on a person? 
    I was at the point of actually making some phone calls to try to find someone to take her place.  I would have done that if I didn't have the internal pull to find out what she was thinking about all this.  I had already talked to her several times, but never really asked her what she thought was keeping her from progressing.  I talked at her more than with her, I guess.  I was instructing, teaching, even warning, but not listening. 
    Part of the reason for that is  simple, she has a lot of characteristics that I find annoying.  I realize now that I had avoided sitting down in my office with my door closed with her because I was too uncomfortable with her and didn't trust myself not to respond on a personal level rather than a professional one.
    Last week, it finally happened.  The final straw broke the camel's back and we ended up in my office.  There I found that I had some misconceptions.  She really likes working with us and she wants to learn and be a long term employee.  She is extremely literal.  She doesn't trust her own judgment, so that's why it seems she's forgotten things she's already learned.  She's double-checking.  She admitted that she needs glasses so that explains why she doesn't see blebs on models. She also said that she feels intimidated by me because I seem so sure of myself.  Well, I guess she couldn't tell how much I dreaded just being alone with her, one on one.  So, we started talking.
    We found out a lot about each other during the 15 minutes we spent in my office.  I let her know that I wanted her to stop relying on cuteness and start developing confidence.  She needs good feedback to do that, but she has to give me something to praise.  I feel a renewed sense of energy to hang in there and give her more guidance.  She also knows that this is it.  She has to do some things differently if she wants to stay. 
    Now that we've gotten through to each other I think we both feel more positive.  She understands that this is a highly performing team and that she has to start climbing the mountain if she wants to come up to the top with us.  We're all ready and willing to help.  She just had to get through the brambles and briars to find her first step up.

A Gold Star From The Bottom Of A Heart

Come on, admit it, you like them too.  Gretchen Rubin, author of the fabulously fun and real Happiness Project blog made me realize that I still love them.  I really do.  Gold Stars.  When I was in school, the sight of one at the top of a test paper was not only a rare occurance, it was a thrill.  I used to like to pull them off and wear them on my forehead.  I told you I'm a geek.  When I went to Weight Watchers they gave us colored paper clips for every pound we lost.  It was all I could do not to make a paper clip necklace with matching earrings and bracelet to show off my paper clips.  So I guess I'm a show off, too.  But really, who am I hurting?

     Now that we're adults, we don't actually get gold stars anymore.  We just get the feeling that we got when we saw one sparkling at the top of a math quiz.  We get that gold star feeling when someone whose opinion matters to us, let's us know they admire or respect us and what we do.  Today my boss stuck a verbal gold star smack in the center of my  forehead.  Today was my eight year, full-time, service anniversary.  We've had our ups and downs, knock down, drag outs, and moments of genius together.  At the end of eight years we have respect and regard for each other.  He came into my office and told me that he "wanted to thank me from the bottom of his heart for everything I do for him and the practice."  Can you imagine how that feels?  When someone says "from the bottom of my heart", they want you to know they mean it.  They want you to feel it.  That's better than any bonus, trip, gift certificate or plaque.  It's something that you can pull out on a hard day and say, "Oh,yeah, that's what can get me through today."  It's something real.  And it lasts.

    So, what are you waiting for?  You have a heart full of gold stars to distribute.  Go to the person who really gives their all and let them know you appreciate them.  At the end of Monday's morning huddle transform the expression on your staff's face by letting them know that you wouldn't want to do this without them.  Throw those gold stars up in the air and let them land on everyone.  There's more where they came from.  Want to know why?  When you hand out gold stars you get back more gold star behavior to replenish your supply.  Staff members, don't forget, your boss or manager likes gold stars just as much as you do.  Hey, they're only human.  When my boss got to work today, he found a thank you card on his desk filled with gratitude for eight great years and the opportunities he's given me and the trust he's extended to me.  When someone let's you do what you love, you should let them know you appreciate that.  What's the use of having it good, if you don't recognize and appreciate it? 

Happy Fourth Of July!

Today is a day for cook-outs, fireworks and fun. Let's also make it a day to remember how lucky we are and to be grateful for that. Many people worked hard to make this country great and many sacrificed everything to defend it. We have so much that it's easy to forget that it came at a price. I live in the mountains of Western North Carolina. When I first moved here I was in awe. I couldn't believe how beautiful the scenery is. I hate to say that now I sometimes forget to be awed. I take it for granted.
I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. We had a great neighborhood with lots of friends and family all around. My grandfather made sure that we drove over the Verranzano Bridge the first day it opened. We went up to the top of the World Trade Center soon after it was completed. I celebrated my first wedding anniversary with my husband at Windows On The World. My brother was in the first tower that was hit on 9/11. He made it out with five minutes to spare. He ran as fast as he could and when he got over the Brooklyn Bridge, strangers took him in and let him spend the night and fed him. The people in this country are amazing. The natural beauty of this country is incredible. I appreciate everything I am lucky enough to enjoy in my life here. We are lucky to be Americans.

Not On Our Watch

    If you really think about it, dental professionals are lucky people.  We've developed skills that are useful and necessary and that we can use to help others.  What a great job!  There are so many opportunities for you to take the skills that you have and use them to make an impact on others.  Just about every community has government programs and volunteer opportunities.  My boss, Jeff Price, treats children from our local elementary school at no fee.  These children are in the worst condition and have been sent to us because they are in so much pain that they can't concentrate on their schoolwork.  Recently, we saw a beautiful little six year old girl with rampant caries.  We had to refer her to the pedodontist who took her into the hospital and unfortunately, had to extract most of her teeth.  When I asked her if she had any pain, she said no.  It's amazing what a six year old can learn to tolerate.  It's pitiful that she had to. 
    Education about oral health and home care is essential to helping prevent other children from ending up in the same predicament. Dr. Mac Lee of Edna, Texas has formed the Dentists Who Care movement.  For a reasonable fee, you can purchase coloring books and a teacher's guide for children in kindergarten through second grade.  You can obtain sponsorship by talking to local Rotary Clubs, Lion's Clubs, PTA, religious groups, etc. Dr. Lee has downloadable powerpoint presentations on his site that can help you get started.  You only have to join the movement to begin.  Educating children before problems start can make a major impact on them for life.  There is really no reason for a six year old to have to endure the extraction of most of her teeth. 

    These children endure pain that would send most adults to the emergency room.  It becomes a fact of life for them.  Imagine having no one to care enough about your health  to prevent that.  Now imagine the difference that could be made if we get to these kids before it's too late.  Imagine that child growing up and remembering the kind dentist who cared about them.  That experience could impact more than their dental health.  It could help them decide to turn away from things that could harm them and toward helping others.  We never know how far our reach extends when we stretch out our hand to help a child.  Think about what you can do in your community.  Discover the programs that are available to get involved in or create one yourself.  Check out Dr. Lee's website and see if that might interest you.  Rampant dental decay in a six year old?  We must all stand up and say, "Not on my watch."

FANTASTIC!!

    I am dedicating my weblog to my boss, Dr. Jeff Price today.  Eight years ago today I walked into his practice to begin what has become my dream job.  I remember my interview with Dr. Price.  He was easy to talk to,  he exuded decency and kindness and had the demeanor of a true gentleman.  All of those first impressions were correct then and still are, eight years later. 
    I started as his chairside assistant and have learned so much because of his generosity in taking the time to share information and his correct assumption that I would be interested.  His fondness for teaching others has inspired me to be a good mentor to our new assistant.  His kind acts result in a revolution of kindness and patience in those who have learned from him.  I have been fortunate to witness some of the most wonderful human characteristics in action by being in his presence.  I have seen him hold the hand of a heartbroken widower as he cried and told him that it was the anniversary of his wife's death.  Rather than turn away in discomfort or embarrassment, Dr. Price held on until the gentleman felt comforted enough to go on.  I have seen in him the ability to look at everyone with kind eyes, no matter how abrasive their behavior. He notices the negative but sees beyond it to the positive that lies beneath.  I have gained reprieve from that kind heart and desire to see goodness on more than one occasion.  I have also benefited from his willingness to risk being honest when he was upset with me.  That's not easy to do, but he cared enough to fight for a better understanding between us.  He's not a saint, he gets annoyed, but he goes beyond that and finds a new beginning.
    When the local elementary school called and said that they had children who could not concentrate in class because of unbearable tooth pain, Dr. Price accepted those children as patients in our practice and cared for them without charging a fee.  They were treated as well as any paying patient.  I truly believe that he made a difference not only in their dental health, but in the way they will see the world.  They will understand that someone can care for you without expecting anything in return. 
    We have had adult patients who have been afraid to visit a dentist for 20 years, come into our office hiding a smile they are embarrassed of behind their hand.  They invariably begin to apologize for not taking care of their mouth.  Dr. Price assures them that he is not judging them by what they did in the past and that he respects them for taking the first brave step toward improving their oral health.  When their treatment is complete, not only do they have excellent clinical and aesthetic results, they have usually overcome their fear because of his patient, compassionate care.

    He respects people for who they are.  He enjoys conversations with the lady who cleans the office as much as with physicians and lawyers.  Maybe more sometimes.  He recognizes and respects the humanity that is in each of us.  People feel that and are assured by his acceptance and his humble disposition .

    As his staff, we know we are lucky.  We work for someone we are proud of.  We admire the man and we admire his work.  We are grateful for the opportunities we have to grow in this practice.  As his practice manager, I know I have been given an amazing honor.  To be asked to run the practice of someone of his caliber is a privilege.  I go to work with a sense of pride and excitement about what I do and who I do it with.  He has shared his philosophies with me and they have changed the way I think and live.  Together we share those thoughts with our staff and we all bring something special to our patients. 

    I remember going to a course when I first started working for Dr. Price.  The speaker said that when patients ask you how you are, you should respond, "Fantastic!", whether you really were feeling fantastic or not.  I can honestly say the experience of working with Dr. Price for the last eight years has been fantastic.  We've had our ups and downs, even our knock down, drag-outs, but in the end, I'm a better person for the adventure.  How many people can stop in the midst of something, sum it up for all it's pluses and minuses, and realize how lucky they are and how much they appreciate what they have.  I'm glad to be in that number. 

    Thank you Dr. Price for an enriching, enjoyable, "fantastic!" eight years. 

The True Meaning of Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day and a lot of us have the day off. That's great for us, but please watch this video and if you pray, say a prayer for the men and women that are risking their lives for our country and those who have given their lives so that we can have everything we have. If you don't pray then try to think a grateful thought for all that.

It doesn't matter if you like President Bush or if you think we should be in Iraq or not today. These are real people who have hoped and prayed and promised anything just to get their loved one home safely. And in many cases, their prayer wasn't answered the way they hoped it would be. They have to face a different life than they wanted. We can help them by respecting what they've given or lost. We can help their families by being there for them. If you know a military family who has someone on active duty, lend a hand. Babysit or bring dinner or just be there to listen. During World War II everyone wanted to be a part of the effort. This is an unpopular war, many of us are not sure why we're there or if we should be, but the irony is, we are not physically there and the people that are there need us. So if you can't stand behind the reason, try to stand behind the people. When I read about some of the 21 year olds that have died in this war and I look at my 22 year old son, I can't imagine what a heart-wrenching thing it would be to see him disappear into an airplane that would take him to such horror. So find your way to understand our troops and what they must be going through and try to support them in some way.

Administrative Assistant's Day

    Don't say I didn't remind you.  Tomorrow is Administrative Assistant's day.  What will you do for the people who help run the business end of your practice?  They're your front line and they often run interference for you.  They may have one of the hardest jobs in the practice, they have to ask for money.  They deal with the insurance companies. Believe me, sitting on hold for endless periods of time is frustrating.  They have to think on their feet and the answers and solutions they come up with often must be tailor made for that specific patient or problem.
    Don't try to get off the hook by saying it's a Hallmark holiday.  It doesn't matter, they know there's been a day set aside to celebrate them and they'll be hurt if you ignore it.  Celebrating people, especially the people who work with us, is one of the best opportunities we have to leave the world better than we found it.  Recycling attitudes and outlooks has as much of a profound effect on our environment as recycling plastic has on the earth's environment.  It doesn't take much; a note, some flowers, a gift certificate, anything to say, "I notice what you do and I appreciate it."  When you can't figure out what to give, try gratitude.  One size fits all, the color looks good on everyone, and no one has too much of it already.  You can't go wrong.

What A Great Boss!

    How often do you hear people say that?  How often does anyone stop to consider what their boss does all day?  Just the word boss seems to imply that this person just says the word and everyone rushes around to do their bidding.  But, if you really pay attention, you'll see something else.
     In a dental office, the boss (dentist) could benefit from a pair of those new sneakers with the roller skates in them that the kids all seem to have now.  Between seeing his operative and emergency patients and examining the hygiene patients a dentist can interact with up to about 30-50 patients in a day.  Now think about all the interactions with staff and their questions, comments and concerns.  Then there's the small talk everyone thinks he has time for.  Meanwhile, he's dying to get back to the person he's prepping for a crown or the jounal article he was in the middle of.  Just the nature of the profession demands an ability to concentrate intensely.  The reality of the pattern in the practice demands that this concentration will be broken more often than left intact.  Frustrated yet?  He can rarely indulge in exhibiting frustration.  That would only set off a round of hurt feelings, recriminations and tears.  Time evaporates and he finds himself at the end of another day wondering where it went.  He goes home with more left to be done than was waiting when he started the day.  Did you know all that?
    Give the guy a break.  Pick up some of the slack.  Make decisions that you know are right and let him go on.  Don't debate his decisions with him in the middle of the day.  Be prepared so he doesn't waste time waiting for you.  Talk to patients about their conditions so you at least set the groundwork before he gets involved.  Get him a cup of tea if he gets a break.  Be considerate.  Leave him alone, cheer him up, assume he didn't mean it if your feelings get hurt sometimes. Let it go.  Live and let live.  Every once and a while, say thank you.  It takes a lot to remain cheerful under pressure, to teach rather than lecture, to guide rather than explode.  It isn't always the way they pictured it when they were in dental school and you may not always be right about what you think is going on with them.  Every now and then, remind yourself how lucky you are to have such a great boss, and let him know it.


I use the male form but fully acknowledge all the fantastic female dentists out there too.  I just find it awkward to do the he/she thing.  Please don't take offense.  I work for a great male boss so my natural tendency is to use the male form.

Happy New Year And Thanks!

    Happy New Year!  Isn't it great to have a new beginning and to look back over the experiences of the past year?  This has been a very full year for me.  I've had uphill battles and soaring successes.  I'd say it's had all the thrills and chills of a very steep, fast roller coaster ride.  Through it all there have been a lot of people behind me pushing me, beside me propping me up and in front of me showing me the way. First and always foremost my husband Mark and my kids, Kim and Adam, Erik and Nick.  You guys are it.   Ed and Tom, you've been real mensches.  My old friends, as usual, couldn't do it without you.  My new friends, Susan, Ellen, Kathy, Sandi and Evie...I've learned from you and leaned on you, thanks!  My boss and our staff are always very special to me and I'm proud to be a part of our team.  Anyone who reads this weblog, thank you.  I love writing it.  I'm honored that you enjoy reading it.
    So, you see, it really does take a village, even if you never meet all of the villagers.  The important thing is to know you need them and you can count on them.  Remember to be there when they need you, too.  Here's to a New Year filled with happiness, success, perseverance, gratitude, forgiveness and accomplishments.  Make the most of it!
Linda

Unsung Heroes

    When we talk about great dental teams and what it takes to make a dental practice extraordinary, we often forget about the people who work somewhat behind the scenes.  We have a team member who is our lab and sterilization queen.  Her name is Michelle and very few of our patients see her on a regular basis, even though she is a real 'people person'.  She does assist with charting our comprehensive exams, but that's it for patient interaction.  Even though she's mostly out of sight, she makes everything we do so much easier.  She has a kind and sweet personality and  likes everyone.  She's like a great touchstone.  You need a little pick me up?  Go see Michelle, she'll cheer you up.  She's got a lot on her plate as a single parent, but she comes to work ready to do whatever we need her to.  When one of her boy's are sick and she can't come in, I know how much she brings to us.  We miss her help, but more than that, we miss her. 
    We buy most of our supplies from Patterson.  Our sales rep Jay, is great to deal with.  He makes sure we get what we need, on time, and if we don't he's on the phone finding out why.  He keeps us up to date on new products, promotions and anything he thinks we need to know about.  He makes my job easier because he does a lot of the footwork for me.  The service people at Patterson are top notch, as well.  We can count on them to be at our office the same day we call with a problem for the most part.  They often not only fix the problem we called about, but often alert us to other problems before they happen.  That keeps us up and operating.
    We are lucky to live in a small town that has two great local laboratories.  We use one for our removable prosthetics and another for our fixed prosthetics.  The first is a husband and wife team and they always come through for us.  Village Labs does our fixed prosthetics and we consider them part of the team.  Everyone there cares about what they are doing and it shows.  They will even come to the office to color match a tough case.  Everyone from the owner Q.P. to the delivery person Ken is nice and willing to go out of their way to help us give our patients great care. 
    So, it really does take a village to make a dental practice excel and every now and then, our unsung heroes deserve a pat on the back and a big thank you.

Let It Be Christmas Everyday

   

My boss and his wife took our staff out to a lovely luncheon today.  We went to the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC which is a beautiful inn located in the mountains of Western North Carolina.  It snowed a little last night so the mountains in the distance made a pretty backdrop during our lunch.
    We have a really nice staff.  I looked around the table and saw a group of extremely decent people who were happy to be together.  It was pleasant.  Nothing and nobody was over the top.  It was all just nice and that was what made it wonderful.  The world we live in is so super everything these days.  You hate to buy a new computer because the technology will be obsolete in no time and you just know you should have waited for the next best thing.  I'm not saying improvement is a bad thing.  If you've read anything I've written, you know I like to see people growing and expanding their potential.  I think what I realized today is that growth is best when it is gradual.  I think there is a time to grow and a time to rest and let the new growth take root. 
    I have to admit it, sometimes I'm impatient.  I want to see the end result get here faster.  I want to be better than I am now, faster.  I probably drive those nice people crazy sometimes.  If you want to know the truth, I drive myself crazy sometimes.  It gets tiring.  It gets frustrating.  I think I figured out why.  It's unreasonable.  It's too much to expect.  It's over the top.  And, it's time to relax and see what happens. I need to just exist and live for a while.  Whew!  I bet everybody will like that.  If you rush to the next achievement, the next thing to learn, the next idea; when will you ever celebrate, acknowledge and appreciate everything you just did?  When will you ever experience satisfaction and contentment?  I don't live in the moment, I live about 5 minutes ahead of each moment.  I think I'm missing something.  Now that I know that, I'll do better.
    My boss is a nice, patient guy.   Sometimes we drive each other nuts with our differences.  He must feel like he's in a tornado when I get going.  I can have a million ideas that I want to act on right away.  He can see the great idea that we should consider doing something about soon.  See what I mean? He's methodical and I'm maniacal. He needs time to think and I think time's a wastin'.  But, we manage to help each other take the step forward or backward that allows everything to turn out well.  So, I'm grateful for that patience of his.  I'll work on getting some of that myself.
    My thought today is that I need to look around at what's good every day.  Not just at a Christmas lunch or birthday party.  I need to take stock of each day.  I'm incredibly lucky in my life.  I've had losses, but at least I had some great things to lose.  I've had people to help me through it all.  I still do.  We all have to appreciate every good thing we have.  It's horrible to look back when something or someone is gone and wish you realized how good you had it, but didn't know it.  So I've decided to let it be Christmas every day.  I'm going to keep growing and trying to improve (hey, I gotta be me), but I'm going to be smarter about it.  I'm going to remember to enjoy where I am right now.  I realized today that where I am is a great place to be.

Hey! Great Job!

    OK, bosses.  This one's for you.  How often do you say Hey! Great Job!?    Because if you have a great staff, you probably should have at least one opportunity to say it every day.  Why be stingy with praise?  It costs nothing and could save you money.  Studies repeatedly show that staff rate appreciation and acknowledgment over salary when rating what's important to them in the workplace.
    Last week I talked about an article on the weblog Leadership Now called Is That A Stone On The Hill?   It's about noticing what's wrong, rather than what's right.  Do you do that?  Do you diminish accomplishments by downplaying them?  Do you try to take the credit when things go right and blame the staff when things don't look so great?  Good leaders do the opposite.  Staff sees that and it means something to them.  It gives you influence with them.  They want to do what you ask them to do.  Are you always trying to take the wind out of their sails?  If you think someone's feeling too sure of themself or too impressed with their work, do you feel the need to bring them down a few pegs?  What's that about?  What are you afraid of? 
    People are motivated by appreciation of their efforts and accomplishments.    If you act like a schmuck and treat them poorly, they may keep coming back, but you won't have any influence with them.  On the other hand, if you have the capacity to appreciate what they do for you and show and tell them that, you will have all the influence you could ever want.  People like having someone in a leadership position that they can admire and look up to.  All you have to do to be that person is give just a little and set a good example.
    The nice thing about having influence with your staff is that they will actually become dedicated to serving your best interests.  They will be a part of your dream for your practice and they will adopt your dream as their own.  Don't believe what pessimists say.  If you tell them how great they are, they won't line up outside your office to ask for raises.  As a matter of fact, they may become more satisfied with their salaries.  Because, if you don't tell them you value them and that they are good at what they do, they will look to you for a raise to rate their worth with you. 
    How do you know if you are being too stingy with appreciation?  Do your staff members feel that they have to point out their accomplishments to you?  Do they ask you if they are doing a good job?  Do they looked shocked or disbelieving when you compliment them?  If so, they are starving for praise.  In a way, the desire for praise from you is a compliment.  It means they respect and value your opinion of them. 
    Employer/employee relationships don't have to be adversarial.  Nobody has to take advantage of anybody.  Everyone can work for a common goal and share in the satisfaction of achieving something great together.   Some of us may accumulate more money or power in life, but we all came to this life in basically the same way and we'll all leave it one way or another. Stop looking at everything as 'mine, not mine, I want it to be mine, or you're not getting any of mine'. People probably don't want what's yours as much as you think they do, anyway.  They just want to know that you appreciate what they do for you.   If you're an employer and have earned your influence you have done well.  If not, get busy and take a look at what you're doing and how you might do it differently.  You and your staff will be happier for it.

Great Stuff

    OK, so I guess I should be a good example.  Yesterday I wrote an article talking about how the negative often seems to take center stage in our awareness, pushing the good stuff right out of the spotlight.  So, you think I'd walk around completely mindful of everything great that's happening to me all day long, right?  Well, I'm getting better at realizing that I have a lot of wonderful opportunities and experiences, but I still don't do it in the moment.  That's going to be my goal.  I'm going to learn to recognize and enjoy the good stuff while it's happening.
    I went to a Continuing Ed course today.  It was held at The Grove Park Inn in Asheville which is a beautiful place.  I did notice how nicely it was decorated right away so I'll give myself a point for that.  The speaker was Dr. Harald Heymann from the School of Dentistry of UNC Chapel Hill.  Not only was he very informative, he used his delightfully dry sense of humor to make what could have been some very technical information, interesting.  I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to be part of the day with our staff and many other staff members and dentist's from the area.  We are fortunate to have a boss that feels that it is important for us to keep learning, and who pays for and brings us to some really high quality continuing educational seminars.  During his presentation, Dr. Heymann was discussing amalgam restorations.  He said that a TV news show had done dentistry a real disservice a few years ago by ignoring significant data and studies that prove that amalgam is safe.  The program had latched onto an overblown, poorly researched study by an individual asserting that amalgam is harmful.  The story got a lot of publicity and attention and unfairly portrayed a useful and acceptable dental material as unsafe.  This caused many patients to panic, and caused many dentists a lot of headaches as they tried to reassure their patients.  When another news show refuted the erroneous claim, it got very little attention from the media.  It seems that if a story is negative, it will get more attention, even if it is false, than a positive story that should be reassuring to the very same people who were upset by the fallacy. 
    While we were at the meeting I saw a young, former staff member who had left our practice at a time when she was confused about what she wanted and handled it with less grace than she probably would once she has a little more maturity and experience behind her.  She was determined not to notice any of us.  At one point my boss and I were directly opposite her in the buffet line at lunch.  Being the gentleman that he is, he said hello and asked her how she was.  She quickly responded and continued to act as if she didn't see me.  She wasn't fired if that's what you are beginning to think.  I said hello and asked her if she was happy in her new job.  She was determined to stay in the defensive mode she was in, but being me I pressed for more.  As we got to the end of the line I walked over and put my arm around her shoulders.  I told her that even though things didn't work out for her with us, there was no reason we had to dislike or ignore each other.  She immediately began to try to explain her behavior and I just steered the conversation to neutral ground.  She looked relieved and I was happy that she accepted the olive branch.  Hopefully, she'll learn to find some good in her experience with us and forget whatever made our practice wrong for her.  Hopefully, she'll approach any similar situations with positivity rather than defensiveness.  Just because something didn't work in the past, didn't mean it has to be dragged into the future with her.  Maybe she knows that now.
    I watched Oprah last night.  She had given her entire audience $1,000 each.  They had to go out and give it to a stranger.  Yesterday's show covered the results of the giveaway.  It was truly inspiring.  People were so overwhelmed by the feelings that doing good for others gave them.  Many found that when other people heard what they were doing, they wanted to help too, and the original $1,000 frequently multiplied many times over.  What that tells me is that despite all the news coverage of the horrible things people are capable of doing to one another, there is a basic goodness in people.  Did Oprah's act get a lot of publicity?  I don't think so.  Isn't that strange?  I felt so good watching that show and the people on it got so much out of their good deeds.  They almost seemed surprised.  So maybe we need to shine a spotlight on how good it makes you feel to do good.  My husband used to get annoyed at his mother because she would read the NY papers and talk all day about all the terrible crimes detailed within.  He couldn't understand why she kept reading them.  She read them because the atrocity was interesting to her.  She didn't realize that reading about good things would be fulfilling because there was not so much written about that.  She didn't get the opportunity to focus on the good. 
    So make your own opportunities to focus on good things.  Like I've said before, it's a choice.  When I next feel frustrated or annoyed, I will challenge myself to find something good about what's happening.  Even if it's just the fact that I'm alive and have good enough mental abilities to feel upset or focus on anything.  And then I'll try to at least find a positive response to whatever's bugging me.  Wow, I can't wait till tomorrow.  I expect to be so much better.
   

Count Your Blessings, Not Your Problems

    It's funny, but it seems that most people tend to recognize what's wrong in their lives a lot easier than they recognize what's right.  Why does negative make a bigger impact than positive?  Do we give more attention to people who are suffering than to people who are happy?
    I was with someone the other day who has had a successful year professionally, suffered no family tragedies and has lots of people who believe in him and care about him. He's had more than his fair share of challenges and problems as well. While we were talking some past issues were raised and my friend said he couldn't bear to even think about the past.  He went on to list all the problems he had experienced with his health and in other areas.  It was quite a list.  After he walked away, I found myself wishing he could see the flip side of those problems.  He survived.  He actually thrived and overcame his difficulties.  The people who care about him and believe in him stood behind him and are now standing beside him.  If he stays stuck in the feelings of sadness, helplessness, fear and despair that were with him as he faced his trials, he will always be in that place. 
    I wish he could think of what he's been through as having climbed a high, steep, treacherous mountain.  Even coming down the mountain was difficult because even though the most exhausting part was over, it was still an unsteady journey.  But, now is the time for him to rejoice.  Now is the time for him to turn around and see the mountain for the enormous challenge that it was and the tremendous accomplishment that watching it fade into the distance should be. 
    I know where he's coming from.  I've had many difficulties in my life.  Things I thought I'd never get over.  Pain that made me doubt I'd ever laugh till I cried again.  I lived there for a while.  I wrapped myself in it and wanted everybody to understand how terrible it was.  But you know what?  First of all, no one else can ever really know.  You're alone with it.  Keep it up and it becomes who you are.  It affects everything you do, everything you think and everything everyone else thinks about you.  You become pitiful, a drag, terminally unhappy.
    This doesn't have to be your fate.  You can walk away from your mountain of trouble.  You know it may still be there, but you can see it behind you.  You can see how conquering it made you stronger.  You can see the blessing in what you have left after what was lost.  You can have hope and believe that good things are coming.  Sure, more bad things are too, but choose to focus on the good things.  Anticipate and rejoice in good so that you have the fortitude to survive and overcome difficulty.  Most of the time we don't appreciate our blessings until we lose them.  So deal with your problems and count and be thankful for the wonderful joys in your life.

Keep It Coming

    So Thanksgiving is over, even if the leftovers still abound.  Don't lose that spirit of thankfulness, though.  We can be so aware of what we are thankful for right before a holiday, but like our appetite for those leftovers, we may find ourselves less enthusiastic as the days go on.  Try to get into the habit of gratitude.  Reconsider the way you look at your life and what happens in it every day.  Do you consciously look for good things?  Many of us are conditioned problem seekers and finders.  We know it is easier to avert a problem than to deal with it after it happens.  That makes us more alert to the negative than to the positive.
    Make it your new habit to see the good in things.  The things to appreciate.  You would think that you would naturally gravitate to that but, unless a thing is out of proportion in it's goodness to the usual, we just don't seem to notice.  Just look at your surroundings.  Find one thing that is pleasing to you.  It may be a pretty leaf, an photograph of your family or a dog looking at you like you're the smartest person on the planet.  Whatever it is, would you have noticed it if you weren't trying?  Maybe not, right?  So get in the habit of deliberate appreciation. 
    There is a post on Leadership Now called Gratitude-Is That A Stone On The Hill?  It talks about seeing the small problem in the big accomplishment and missing the accomplishment. 
    Is it just human nature to be more aware of the foibles than the successes?  So, what if it is?  Learn to circumvent human nature.  Reprogram yourself to tune in to the positive and express gratitude for it.  It's the best way to keep it coming.