Today's blog is about anything but dentistry. You may have noticed that I've been pretty slack about writing this blog in the last year. I haven't been lazy though, I've been bombarded. So indulge me, this is a tribute to a very special man.
At this point I am in the end stages of laying a 31 year marriage to rest. My husband was my hero in many ways, and as happens with many heros who imagine that being on a pedastal is a part of it all, he fell. And he wouldn't get back up again. So we go forward into a new type of relationship with each other that is being helped by the arrival of an angel.
My daughter gave birth to my adorable granddaughter, Sophia Emory on December 2. Everything they tell you about grandchildren is true. I was awestruck to see my beautiful daughter holding her beautiful daughter. Not matter what problems are facing you, holding a brand new baby is healing. Everything falls into place and you see things in a new way. It balances you so that you see what is worth your attention. Not to put too much pressure on a week old baby, but in some way she gave me the strength I needed to face losing yet another hero.
My beloved brother Charlie passed away on December 5 after a long and terrible battle with cancer. I was able to be present for Sophia's birth and then leave the next day to spend the night in Hospice with Charlie. It was a gift I will be forever grateful for. Charlie was my true hero. One who didn't expect admiration, but engendered it, nor did he look for worship. He gave because he cared. He didn't take a measure of what he was getting back, so he never felt cheated. He accepted with gratitude and gave with abandon. I didn't want him to know about my problems because he had enough of his own, but he found out and reprimanded me saying, "I am still the patriarch of this family." Sounds like he was watching a little too much Real Housewives of NJ if you ask me. He was in it till the end and he was the best brother anyone could ever have. And I know he thinks he's still the patriarch all the way from heaven. I'm counting on it.
Here's the thing; you never know when your heroes might leave or when your angels might arrive, so it makes sense to take care with everyone and appreciate what's right in front of you. Heroes and angels beget other heroes and angels so the more you bring into your life, the happier you'll be. Now consider this; how are you a hero or angel to someone else? When I got back from my week of rollercoaster emotions, I found that my co-workers had left dinner in my fridge and a beautiful card on my kitchen table. Yesterday, my boss took us all out to lunch to welcome me back. Heroes and angels? You better believe it. Did I think of them that way before? Probably not. The only thing you have to do to have more heroes and angels in your life is to learn to recognize what they look like. I'll bet you already have many of them. We go through our days so focused on tomorrow, that we miss so much today. Slow down and appreciate your own heaven on earth. It's right in front of you, filled with heroes, angels, and every now and then, someone who is willing to be a patriarch. What a shame it would be to miss it. I knew what I had in Charlie all along and I was always amazed by him.
Thanks Charlie, patriarch, hero and sometimes really annoying big brother, and now official guardian angel to my angel on earth, Sophia. I was so lucky to have you. Other angels will take over now, you rest a little. Thanks for showing me how to be brave.
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