Good Gossip

"No one ever gossips about anyone's secret virtues.". -Bertrand Russell- Gossip is such a weird thing. On the one hand we feel uncomfortable with it because of how it makes us feel. If we listen to gossip we feel guilty, maybe a little trapped and we may even wonder if the person we're listening to will gossip about us to someone else. Hang on though, you're never a victim, you can change the subject or find a reason to leave, rather than provide a forum for gossip. We stay because we get something out of hearing it. We may feel preferred by the gossiper, interested in the information, or superior to the person being talked about. But, what about that person? How would they feel if they knew what was being said? How would you react if you turned around and discovered they'd been standing listening the whole time? Wouldn't you, as the listener, be just as guilty as the one talking? Moreover, how has the time you've just spent in that conversation impacted anyone's world? Has it made you a "better version of yourself?" If you ask me, nobody wins. Sure, some people may feel like they've accomplished something like letting everyone else know the "truth" about someone else. Just remember, that's the truth as they see it and it's impacted by their own personal agenda. The way we think and talk about others is often a mirror of our own interior life. The thoughts that we assign to others often only reflect the thoughts we assume they have, because that's the way we think. Gossip can be good, though. Just imagine walking up to two people talking and realizing it's you that they're talking about. Then imagine you hear that they are talking about how great they think you are! How do you feel? I know that I'd love it, and not only because I'd feel good about me, I'd feel even better about them. Let me ask you this: when you realize that someone is about to bad mouth someone else, doesn't a part of you feel some discomfort? When someone tells you something good about someone else, don't you feel uplifted? Then, really, how should you spend your time? Spread good gossip in your practice. Make a point of it by introducing the idea at a staff meeting. Give everyone small pocket sized notebooks with a page for each staff member and challenge them to write down every good thing they "catch" each person saying or doing for the next week, then start off Monday morning by having one person read out what they wrote all week. Continue each morning until everyone has gotten all their good gossip out. You'll be surprised at what happens to the atmosphere and attitudes in the office. People's outlooks are guided by what they think most about. Looking for the good in their co-workers will have an impact. Knowing that people are watching for the good in them will inspire goodness. Good gossip is good for everyone. It's free, it's easy and it's always available so spread some around your practice and see what happens.