React To Their Humanity

I was driving home the other day and saw a man and his wife walking their dog.  Usually, if it was any other couple, I would just wave and think no more of it.  The husband in this couple made it different.  He used to own a small business in town where I shopped occasionally and he was known for being unfriendly to the point of being unpleasant and rude.  He was so off-putting that I found myself debating, in the few seconds it took to drive toward them, whether I should bother to wave or not.  Silly, isn't it?  What would a wave cost me?  At the point of decision, I decided to wave.   He didn't respond, but his wife smiled and waved back.  As I went on this thought went through my mind;  Don't react to his personality, react to his humanity.

After I had that thought, I felt relieved that I had chosen to do the right thing.  It would have been perfectly justifiable to have gone on without a wave, but it made his wife smile.  She might not get many opportunities to smile, living with someone who seems to begrudge cheerfulness like he seems to.  Then again, maybe she understands the reason for his demeanor and loves him not only in spite of it, but even more because of it.  I don't know, but the possibility calls me to honor their humanity.

I know from personal experience, that we don't know each other's heartaches, disappointments, sorrows, or desires.  People may wear their joys and sorrows on their face, but they hide their scars in their hearts and souls.  Disappointment may crush the spirit and make each day an effort, but each day arrives, over and over again and must be lived.  It just may be that the way we meet and treat each other, can give someone who is struggling strength and hope.  You never know when a kind word can lift a bruised and battered heart and shine a light where there seemed no hope of happiness.  

It doesn't matter who we are, what we have, where we're from.  Our humanity is our common bond.  Whether we are the cheerful, grateful patient, or the unpleasant curmudgeon, we have our humanity to unite us.  She's annoying, he's too loud, she's lazy, he's a grouch, that's ok, we can care for them anyway, their personality doesn't have to blind us to their need for love.  We just have to fight the urge to react to the personality they're wearing on the outside and find even a glimmer of the human being that they are.  If you can do it, you will make a difference, even if you never know it, and you will be happier for it.

I'm not a Pollyanna, I struggle every day, throughout each day to do this myself.  I fail often, but I keep renewing my determination to treat others with understanding and patience.  I have been facing life-changing, heart-breaking events myself in the last year and I know what the kindness of others can do.  A smile from a stranger for no reason is uplifting.  An embrace from a friend is a reminder that I am lucky.  I realize that we can rescue someone who is struggling from despair. Dealing with pain and receiving the grace of kindness from others, has been a gift because I have gained the awareness of the power of compassion.  Who will you grace with your compassion?  Maybe it will be a friend, a spouse, a child, a co-worker, a patient or a stranger, but what greater good is there?  Even a wave can have an impact that we may never know, but we can hope to do some good each day.  It's the hope that makes us human and the grace that makes us good.

Comments

[scottsdale dentist]

I love this one "Don't react to his personality but to his humanity"...
Really love it... yeah I agree that there are reason why a person react as such that way...negatives in life and etc.. Thank you so much! you reminded me again that "every face has a story"

scottsdale dentist

[Linda Zdanowicz]

We are all so human ourselves that we need to remind each other to be our best. It's when life is easy that we can easily forget how difficult it can be, but it's when life is difficult that we can truly experience gratitude.

[Trish Walraven]

Thank you Linda for reinforcing the reasons I love reading your blog and have shared it with others at the dentalbuzz bloglist. Prayers with you as you get through your personal upheavals!

[Stacey]

So very insightful. We should all take heed of this message, Thankyou!