The Character of a Hero

I just returned from visiting my brother Charlie in Pennsylvania.  Charlie is my big brother and he's fighting his sixth bout with cancer.  He started his fight when he was in his early 20's.  That was back when they didn't know much about how to use radiation so they gave a lot of it.  As a result, Charlie has dealt with radiation poisoning ever since.  About 12 years ago he was diagnosed with stage 4 malignant melanoma on his scalp.  He went through some pretty rough surgery and seemed ok for a long time, so he got back to his life.  Three years ago he was coughing a lot and went for a check-up.  The melanoma had metastasized to his lungs and esophaegus.  He just finished his third round of chemo.  He's wiped out and his breathing sounds horrible.  His coughing fits are nerve-wracking and scary.  He never complains.  He never says much about feeling sorry for himself.  He brushes off the worry that we have for him and gets on with life.  He worries about the rest of us.  When I was there this weekend, he kept trying to entertain me with outings.  Walking down the hall is an effort, and he's worried that I'm bored.  I was happy to just spend time with him.  He talks about the things and people that matter to him and it's all very simple.  His family and friends matter.  His cat Bandit and his dog Pudge matter.  His love appreciation for his wife and sons is immense.  Making sure that everyone is ok matters to him.  He's the patriarch of this family and he's in charge.  He may have cancer, but cancer will never have him.  It's all so simple.

How often do we forget how simple life really is every day?  We get so worked up about cancelled appointments, staff mistakes and other things that don't really matter in the long run.  What matters in the end is people.  It matters how you care for them.  It matters how you show them you care.  It matters how you make them feel when they're around you.  That's what's important.  You may be thinking that it's easy for me to say that, I don't own a practice, so I can't possibly care like an owner does.  Well, if the practice doesn't do well, I'll be out of a job, so you bet I care.  What I know is this:  If you treat people right, both staff and patients, the practice will thrive.  If you are a staff member and you give it your best and keep trying to improve, work with your boss as an asset, and treat your patients well, you will thrive with the practice.  

What happens when we give in to self-pity and exaggerate every negative thing that happens?  We become victims, helpless to help ourselves.  What if we give into frustration and lose our patience with our staff and patients?  Everyone suffers and the practice does, too.  It's easy to fall into the trap of negativity and victimhood.  Maybe it's just as easy to focus on the positive.  It may just be a matter of consciously trying to see what's good, rather than worrying or complaining about problems.  It will at least make us easier to be around.  Or, like Charlie, we may inspire everyone around us and fill them with pride.  Try this the next time you feel over-worked, over-stressed or misunderstood: brush it off and get on with life.  You might be surprised at how easy it is to do, and how much more pleasant life can be without all the drama.

Do me a favor, next time you feel yourself getting annoyed with someone at work, stop and say a prayer for Charlie Otranto.  I bet when you're done, you'll feel less annoyed.  At any rate, Charlie would like to know you're praying for him and it would make me happy, too.  See, a lot of good can come out of ingoring a little bad that really doesn't matter much anyway.

 

 

Comments

[stacey]

We should all aspire to be as gracious and caring as your brother. All the best.

[Ed Brenegar]

Linda,
Thanks for sharing about your brother. His courage and resilience is something we can aspire to be like. I wish him and your whole family strength and love as you go through this with him.
Ed

[Linda Zdanowicz]

Thanks for you kind thoughts. Charlie is a very special person whose example puts everything in perspective for me. We all have things that concern and worry us and I won't diminish the importance of those things, but compared to what Charlie is dealing with, most things just aren't that bad.

[Debra Steele]

Thank you for your inspirational blog. We need to hear this more than once in a lifetime to keep us on track. A prayer for Charlie and anyone else dealing with cancer or other debilitating illnesses. Summerlea Dental

[Linda Zdanowicz]

Thank you for your prayers. You know, it's easy to get caught up in small annoyances and distractions. In the end, they just are not that important and take time and attention away from what is. Being aware of that is a great first step.
Linda