"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs." ~Christopher Hampton~
"People ask for criticism, but they only want praise."
~W. Somerset Maugham~
As a manager or owner, when you see a staff member doing something wrong that you've corrected them on a few times already, what is the first thing you think? Maybe it's, "I showed her how to do that 10 times, what's the problem?" Maybe it's, "Oh no, how many times do I have to show her the same thing, over and over and over...?" It gets frustrating, doesn't it?
I'd like to suggest that when you find yourself thinking something like that, you use it as a reminder to stop and review. What's going on here? Is the task very complicated? Are you confident in your ability to explain it in a way that someone who has no experience can understand? Have you looked at it from the employees experience? Have you asked her why she's struggling? That question alone could open a floodgate of insecurity and pent up frustration.
I believe that most people want to do well. I'm also aware that there are people out there that feel entitled to come to work, do a lousy job, and have that job protected just because we made the mistake of hiring them in the first place. But, for this, let's pretend we've already weeded them out and are dealing with someone who wants to do it right. So, let's say you just watched your employee do something wrong for the umpteenth time. You've shown her how to do it correctly just as many times. You've typed it out step by step and made a nice book of guidelines for her that is sitting right there next to her. Ok, be honest now, what are you feeling? Frustration, disbelief, impatience, aggravation, helplessness, hopelessness? Yeah, well, to be honest, that's your problem. Your job is to help her "get it." When her job gets hard for her, your job gets hard for you. The only way to make it get better for both of you is to find a way to help her "get it." Sorry, and it's hard for me to do this, too, but you have to put how you feel about it aside and think about them. I imagine that the person is feeling awkward, embarrassed, frustrated, aggravated, helpless and even a little disbelieving herself. So, you already have a few things in common.
What if someone was going to critique your handling of this situation? What would you want to show them? A patient, understanding manager who worked kindly with the employee to discover a way to help them understand the correct execution of the task? Of course you do. So, everytime you face this situation in the future, imagine you are being critiqued on your critique. Treat the person as you would if you knew your handling of the situation would be on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow. If you wanted to impress him, how would you behave?
Now, get down to the nitty gritty. Really see the person and work with them to get them where they need to be. This is what you want to have happen. You want to help them learn to do the task correctly. In the process, you have the opportunity to create a mutually respectful relationship and to develop influence with them. They will have an additional reason to learn. They want to make you proud of them. They want to show you that they have the ability that you've shown them you believe they have. In the process, their confidence is increased, you've accomplished what you set out to do and everyone feels good about the outcome. So, remember, no one really needs to be criticized. They need to be lead and taught.

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