The One Thing

   

What is the one thing you can stop doing that will make your life better, just because you have ceased and desisted?  I bet it flew right into your head when you read that sentence because we are all so aware of the things we do that make us miserable.  So few of us, including myself, actually own it. 
    Ok, I'll own my miserable thing.  I ruminate.  I rarely just get over anything.  I think I do, I say I will, but I really don't.  I take it home and examine it from every angle.  I fertilize it until it achieves magnificent growth.  I cultivate it, encourage it, reshape, rename and reinforce it.  I chew it up, spit it out, poke it around and put it in my pocket just in case I need it later.  Wouldn't want to be caught without a lingering hurt or unfair, inconsiderate, flippant insult would I? 
    Even as my heart says, "Leave it alone, get over it", my head says, "No way, I can spend days, no, even weeks on this."  Even when my head says, "You know this will hurt you more than it will hurt them", my ego pushes back with "Don't be such a sap, you know you have to run with this."  And on and on it can go. 
    Heart, head, ego, it doesn't matter which, I know it doesn't help to ruminate.  It only keeps life in the past and pain ever present.  It's no fun, so it's the one thing I'm determined to stop doing.  It's not smart and it's not a wise use of my time.
    It's important to be aware of these things.  Years go by and life is wasted while we keep doing the one thing that gets in the way.  Only you know what it is and what it gets in the way of.  For me, ruminating blocks out positive considerations.  How can I appreciate how good I have it if I'm dissecting every slight, hurt or insult that comes my way?  What use is there is trying to assign intent to what others do?  There is no way for me to know what they might not even understand themselves.
    What will I replace the one thing with?  Hopefully wisdom.  Hopefully acceptance.  Patience.  Tolerance.  The benefit of the doubt.  The understanding that I just don't know and never will understand what everything means.  The ability to live in peace with that.  That's not such a bad trade off.

Comments

[valerie]

I do the same thing! But i just keep telling myself not to let anyone/anything steal my joy! I too am working on living more peaceful! It's sort of a comfort to know that I am not the only one that grazes all day long on the past.. :-)

[Chip Payet]

Oh how I used to do the same thing, Linda! Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now was the catalyst that changed my life. While I can't claim to be 100% over it, I do know that I find my life far more at peace due to his influence.

[Linda Zdanowicz]

Chip I'm reading the Power of Now right now. Boy can I see myself in all the things he says you shouldn't do.