Have you ever noticed that when employees come to inform you about a problem, sometimes they almost seem smug about it? They, very importantly and eloquently, give you the nitty gritty in all it's glorious detail, then stand back to wait to see what you're going to do about it. You, the proverbial deer in the headlights, are in the unenviable position of absorbing bad news in front of someone who seems to be waiting to see what brilliant solution you're going to come up with. Inside you may be screaming, "Oh come on! Why me?? What the heck is going on, why can't a day go by without something like this?!" On the outside, you may be thanking the staff member for bringing the problem to your attention, even though you can still hear what's clamoring on the inside. As they walk away, and this is the best part, you glare at their back in resentment and think about how nice it must be to be the person who dumps all the problems on someone else, rather than being you, the dumpee. Oh, if you could only see your face at moments like this. It's not a pretty sight. I know, I've caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror as I've turned away in disgust. It made me want todecree that black cloths be placed over all the mirrors.
It's your own damn fault! Nope, sorry, I don't feel sorry for you. Wanna know why? Because I've been you. There were days I hated my staff for being such big babies and never solving a problem. Then I realized something. I grew this staff. I was reaping the result of the seeds I'd sown. Now, I didn't intentionally do that, but I do think that sometimes, those of us in leadership positions tend to believe that we have the best answers to everything. I used to be quite amazed and satisfied with myself when I first started leading our team. I would sit back and think about all the wonderful decisions I'd made, ideas I'd come up with and solutions I'd designed and think about how lucky my boss was to have me. Gag! Sorry, I just made myself a little bit sick just typing that. Anyway, I realized something was wrong with my thinking the first time a staff member came up with a great idea and I felt a twinge of resentment toward her. " Hey, I'm the idea person, aren't I? That's my job, you just get back in there and clean teeth!" Mind you, none of this was ever uttered, it was all mindtalk, but wow!, even I was appalled at myself so I'm glad the words didn't burst past my lips. So, being me, it was time for introspection and change.
The next time someone came to me with a problem, I resisted the urge to give the solution and asked her what she thought we could do to make it better. Her answer, "I don't know, that's your job", confirmed that I had a problem. So, another staff meeting was born. We talked about considering possible solutions whenever we saw actual or potential problems. I asked them to take the time to be quiet with the problem and just let ideas come. That's where the best solutions are usually born anyway, in solitude. Knee-jerk reactions have a 50/50 chance of working in most cases. The reason I say that is because most often they deal with the immediate problem, but not the future ramifications of the solution. Giving yourself even 5 minutes to consider what will happen next, and next, and next again, can add clarity to a solution.
The next challange is to recognize a staff members great solution without worrying that you are making your own job obsolete in the process. Once you do that, the result will make you want to do it again. When you see the pleasure dawning on a staff member's face that their idea was not only approved, but applauded, it makes you want to encourage them to keep it up so you can see that look again and again. It's an "I'm ok, you're ok" moment that really feels great to everyone. The thing to remember is that leadership isn't about getting your own way, it's about leading to the right way. It's about making everyone think and share what they think, so that you have more choices, more input and more good ideas. Coming to a solution together, choosing a path together, makes everyone more committed to success because they each own a piece of it. Wouldn't you rather be a part of the process of a solution or success, rather than a bystander?
So, what's the solution to problems? Share the pain and share the glory. Get out of the "me" of it, and get into the "we" of it. Stop talking about the team as "them" and start recognizing the team as "us". Stop resenting the bearer of bad news and start helping them be a part of the solution. If you can even entertain the idea that you may be one of the problems, that's when you'll get to the best solutions. You just have to be brave enough to look at yourself honestly (ouch), that's the solution.
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