The No A$$#@le Rule

    Well, I've just started a book titled, The No A$$#@le Rule.  I am not as brave as the author of the book, so I couldn't just write it right out like he did, but I'm sure you can figure out what comes before rule.  Like I said, I've only just started it, but it got me thinking.  Let's substitute the word jerk for a$$#@le.  A$$#@le is just too descriptive and graphic for me.  The author states that there are a lot of jerks in a lot of workplaces.  First of all, being the self-improvement junkie with a guilt complex that I am, I wondered, "Am I an a$$#@le?"  Oh yeah, I was going to use jerk, wasn't I?  So, am I a jerk?  Honesty is so painful.  Yes, I admit it sometimes I am.  But, not a complete jerk, thank goodness.  Sometimes I tend to get quiet when I'm upset and I know that my mood affects everyone else's, so I know I shouldn't do that. I also have a hard time dropping an argument until I understand everything about it, which drives some people nuts.   But, that doesn't make me a complete jerk, just an occasional jerk.
    There are two criteria for complete jerkhood.  1.  Does a conversation with you leave the other person feeling put down, degraded, less valuable or worse than before they talked to you?  2.  Do you tend to be abusive to people in lower positions to yourself and never to people in higher positions than yourself?  If you do both these things you're a complete jerk.
    The problem with being a jerk is that you hurt others as well as yourself.  It's terrible to be the victim of a bully and that's what most jerks are.  When someone in a higher or more powerful position bullies an employee he or she makes that person feel hopeless and helpless.  That eventually turns into anger and resentment and a desire to get even.  Sometimes people get even by sabotaging, stealing or just not trying.  It takes a toll on the employee's personal life as well when they bring their problems home to their family or take out their anger and frustration on those who love them.  Eventually, bullying costs the business in sick days and employee turnover.  Eventually it costs the bully when someone higher than him catches on and fires him. 
    When I was having my sleep study, the technician told me that his sister manages a doctor's office.  He said that before she was diagnosed with sleep apnea she had terrible mood swings and would scream at the staff.  I can't imagine doing that.  I would think the mood in that practice had to be horrendous.  Now that she is sleeping she's stopped screaming, but I doubt the staff has lost that mental image of her.  As managers, we have a duty not to be jerks.  The snowball effect of being a jerk just creates other jerks as your staff members get fed up and take on your attitude.  I peeked ahead in the book and they're going to tell us what to do if you are a jerk or if you work with a jerk.  I'll keep you posted.

Comments

[Benjamin]

After battling with my insurance company I was finally able to get them to pony up for a biPap machine. After my $1200 deductible plus 20% I a out around $1400 but its better than nothing. Happy holidays.

[Lawrence Spindel DDS]

All of us are occasionally jerks. As dentists both under stress and we are in a position of leadership. We should try and 'model' good behavior for our staffs. When and if we lapse, we owe the offended party an apology. It shows that we acknowledge our poor behavior and will try to do better. No one is perfect. That apology can be effective leadership and can repair some of the damage that we may have caused. It also may keep our staffs from turning against us and keep our staffs loyal to us.

[Linda Zdanowicz]

You're absolutely right Dr. Spindel, we're all only human and we make mistakes. Seeing an apology as an act of strength, whether giving one or receiving one, can make the next move obvious. Just go on with life and leave the problem behind. Sounds simple, but why do we usually have to add so much drama to the thing?
Linda

[Dentist Vaughan]

This is true. When a person is in higher power, it is very easy to abuse this power and be a jerk. There are many people who fall into this category.